Saturday, June 28, 2008

Resistant Form

I love the letters which featured the "URGENT WARNINGS". This one was written on May 10, 1986 and starts out normal enough, then spirals down into woes about safe deposit boxes, and the terror of my "evil" UN...CLE...MI...CHAEL, (who was a constant worry for my mom). The letter finally climaxes with 2 points no letter should be without. Inappropriate? Yes. Entertaining? Perhaps. Mortifying? You KNOW it. I submit to you, your Honor, exhibit number 392,410:

Dear Adam, Friday

Enclosed find payment that has to be made to NDSL. Also enclosed is a check for $50. to help with it.

Benny sent me a birthday card. Wasn't that nice?

Nan had given me the key to her safe-deposit box before she left. When she came back I went to give her the key which was supposed to be in the envelope. I hadn't opened it to look inside when she gave it to me. As it turns out, there was nothing inside of the envelope. no key. Michael probably took it before he left to go out of town.

Just be advised that he is a thief! Do not allow him in your apartment at any time! Forewarned is forearmed. He probably took out whatever she had in that safe deposit box. Nan claims that she probably misplaced the key! Naturally, she defends him. Listen to me...

Love,
Mom

1. Don't drink rain-water.
2. There's a resistant form of gonorrhea going around-Use a condom-

 
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