It Isn't Funny

Years ago when I was younger and restlesser, I decided to take a drive down to Mexico with a friend of mine for a little break. It was the 1st time I ever left the United States, the first time I ever ate an $8 lobster, and the 1st (and last) time I ever ran for my life.

While heading back to the U.S., we drove through a small town near Tijuana, and noticed on one particular street, about a mile of tall fences on each side of the road. It turned out the town was celebrating, Pamplonada. If you're not familiar with the "Running of the Bulls", it's an annual event held in Spain and Mexico, where a multitude of ferocious bulls are set free in the streets to maul over anyone and anything stupid enough to stand in their way. I remember when my friend, Gary and I decided to give it a whirl...I first HAD to say farewell to my beloved mom back in Miami. I found a phone booth in the middle of town and gave her a quick call as I just KNEW she would understand and ultimately, support whatever I decided to bequeath her. I know. I know. My bad.

A few weeks later, I received this letter:

Monday
Dear Adam,
I told Nan about the bulls in Mexico-She said she saw people get maimed that way when she was in Tijuana! She got so upset & hysterical-she said she would have called the Border Patrol and I got so angry with her-we had a fight-! Anyhow-I told her you're safe now. She pictured you being caught by that bull.

Just thought I'd tell you-you can't tell her anything! But-in the future-Don't do anything so silly-because if you had slipped & fallen-you could have been run over by those bulls! And I was so sick that afternoon-not knowing what happened-Please don't do foolish things like that again. It isn't funny!
Love,
Mom

 

Hello

"Masters of complexity create the simplest solutions." Brad Lishman

Letter mailed to me on September 10, 1986:

Hello-

 

David Letterman Is Very Thin

Live from NY, it's the "Weight Show with David Letterman..."

Sat.
Adam-
Ask your doctor about the Atkins Diet because my cholesterol is high & my Dr. said I shouldn't go on the diet because it condones eating fat which is bad for cholesterol.-
Did you ever have your cholesterol checked?-If it's ok.-then-the Atkins Diet won't hurt you-But-if it's high-eating fats is a no-no-
So-Please check with your medical doctor-You say he's a good doctor-is he? -
Don't rely on your trainer-He has no idea what your cholesterol is!-
David Letterman is VERY thin & he had VERY high cholesterol-
Be Careful-
Love-
Mom

 

New Year's Resolution! Love, Mom

Letter dated Wednesday, January 1st, 1994.
Hey...at least she started THINKING about change. I'm hoping I'll see some results by the time MY kids are in therapy. Happy New Year!


Wed.
Adam-
I copied 4 pages of a book I read. I am in the process of making a big move-& it scares me because I don't know what is in store for me-
I saw a lot of myself in this book called-'How to take charge of your Life' by Berkowitz-I have to give up the feeling of being a help-less victim-It is not easy but I am going to try.
If, at times, I slip back-please don't get angry at me-It is all part of my growth. I need you to be understanding of a painful process I am in the process of-
Love,
Mom

 

Throw Away The Key

Could this be what protects my family's hidden treasure?

Or is it merely a mysterious key my mother had kept and eventually mailed to me on December 23rd of 1997 taped to a single blank piece of torn-out white notebook paper with no attached explanation, leads, clues or a single solitary word as to what it could be used to open...or in fact, whom it might be keeping locked away...?

SANTA????

 

A Band-Aid On A Cut

I think it was my mother who once said to me, "The only thing we have to fear...,
is everything."

October, 1986
Wed.
Dear Adam-
That tire has me concerned-you said that your tire was flat & you had it fixed.
Well-I don't know how they fixed it-but you can't ride around on a tire that has been patched up-that would be o.k. for a spare-but not for everyday use. It's like putting a band-aid on a cut-that won't heal the cut-
Please-go buy a new tire or as many tires as you need-You can put it on your credit card-You've had the car sometime now & I'm sure it needs tires-
It's nothing to fool around with-Adam-If the tires are not good-it's too dangerous-especially on the highway!
Love,
Mom
:-)

 

Where I'm staying

Over the past 20 years or so, my mother has moved more times than I can remember. From apartments in South Beach, to houses in LA. From studios in Greenwich Village to a pad in Las Vegas. But the one thing I could always depend on hearing from her throughout each relocation, was the fact that in her mind, WHEREVER she lived...was way too dangerous of a place for me to visit. Ever.

Here's a short, sweet warning note courageously written to me from her ditch near the front line, Staten Island, New York.

December 2000
Just a reminder:
Over the holidays, it would be a good idea to wear your seat belt.
Love,
Mom
And don't ever go down to where I'm staying under any circumstances.