Use It Well

Did you know that for a mere $17.00 at LAX, you too can bring comfort and joy to your family in the event the plane you're boarding takes a swan dive? It's true! Do NOT get on that aircraft without buying some flight insurance! $17 buys you $300,000! Step right up! Now have a great flight!

11/20/2002

Keep this in case plane crashes-It's for round trip-you get $300,000. Use it well.
Mom

 

Hello, my name is your mom, and I'm insane.

Self-realization. Acknowledgment. Admitting you have a problem. Commendable. Vital to the process of healing. And in the journey to improve one's relationships with others and themselves, A HUGE FIRST STEP!

But without sounding too insensitive here...

WHEN DO THE OTHER ELEVEN KICK IN?

October 28, 2002

Hello-
Adam- I know you would agree with this saying in regard to me!

Love, Mom

 

He Has Her Address

Call me a skeptic, but I guess I'm one of the few who doesn't believe the postman actually delivers those millions of letters addressed by kids all over the world to:

Santa Claus
The North Pole

But at least now I know (thanks to this gem from my mother and an apparent all-knowing acquaintance of the time, Philip), how to send something (namely a tape of my music, in this instance) to Barbra Streisand, and trust that she'll actually get it. Please Babs...forgive me in advance for divulging such confidential information.

May 2, 1998

Adam-

Philip said to send a tape to Barbra Streisand Malibu, CA. & the postman will deliver it to her as he has her address-you have nothing to lose-Why not try it?

Love,
Mom

 

A Quarter Of A Million

This letter is one of many I received with the same motif. I refer to these as the, "I can help you get rich quick by taping a single, good ol' American coin to this paper which I'm quite sure is worth hoards of money becuase it just looks different to me" letters. Some had pennies. Some had quarters. None offered a single written word. And who said Mama Can't Buy You Love...?