PDES IS CHANGING!

Happy New Year, everyone!

I've been quite the busy little blogger over the past few years. Working hard every night from my plush crib in the San Fernando Valley. Oh the hours I spent alone staring into those bottomless (now torn) paper bags and plastic containers (now swelling) that housed my mother's letters. They all had to be taken out and placed in chronological order. "Can't deal with the kids tonight, honey!" Nope. No siree! I was waaaay too busy. Too busy remembering. Talking. Re-connecting. Dreaming. Smiling. Plotting. And writing like a wacko with a new found purpose in life. THIS was gonna be sweet!

Abrams Publishing, (the same publishing company responsible for the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series), signed me to a fabulous book deal for the story of how my mother's letters completely and continually terrorize my life. Can you believe?! Soon, the book will be available at Barnes and Nobles and other bookstores throughout the land! I had a few ideas for what was to be the title and finally settled on, S'Mother. Just seemed more instantly understandable than, "Please Don't Eat Sushi, Love, Mom." It's available for pre-order on Amazon, and will be officially released in time for this Mother's Day in May of 2011!

It's all very exciting. For my mother? Well, not so much. I mean, she's got more important things to focus on. (Like,worrying.)

This blog will be redirected by early February to pair with the book's title and a new website is in the process of being built for all things S'Mother! There's more stuff to tell you, but that's all for now. In the mean time, please pre-order the book. Tell a friend. Tell a co-worker. It's time. It's Mother. It's S'Mother.

Yours truly-
Adam

Tuh-Tuh-Tuh

Yiddish dictionaries define Poo-Poo-Poo, (or here seen as Tuh-Tuh-Tuh), as an expression that simulates spitting 3x to ward off the evil eye.
Happy New Year, Everybody!
(Or in other words, Ting tang, walla walla bing bang.)

Adam-
This New Year 2011 should be the best year for you and Maria and the kids!
Tuh-Tuh-Tuh.
Love you all and enjoy the year!
Love,
Mom

 

A Happy Face

Pickle? Really? (Insert sad face here...)

1/24/94
Pickle-
1. If and when you decide to come to Florida, let me know. I have to order a roll-a-way bed. They deliver.
2. Don't confront the stalker who's bothering Dana. Just call police.
I'm sorry you're having so much stress. Take an aspirin before going to bed and get a full night's sleep so you can work.
Enclosed find $20 to help with gas or a lunch?
Love,
Mom
A Happy Face

 

Cock and Bull Story

Love the ending...
"Will call you Sunday"...
to see if you're still alive, that is.

March 2, 1984
Dear Adam,
After our conversation, I was thinking, don't you think it would be a good idea to go into the film industry after college? They pay so well and from there, you could make contacts and get people to hear your music. This way, you could be making money and making contacts at the same time. You could also write music for the movies! This is one way to get people to notice you! Think about it. It's better than pounding on doors!
I'm very busy at work! We've had some cases where we have had to take some kids away from their parents 'cause of child abuse. These parents are very upset about it and angry at me. Don't go anywhere with any strangers. Even if they tell you a 'cock and bull' story. Check it out first. I'm only trying to do my job, but I'm not winning any friends or influencing people! I know I'm paranoid but I'd rather be on the safe side.
Will call you Sunday.
Love-
Mom

 

Too Many Songs Are No Good

I suppose she expects 10%...

Did you know the names of these CEO's?
Send a tape of your 2 songs only!
If You Walked Into My Life and The Moon song!
Too many songs are no good.

 

The Jersey Family

But I heard her exclaim, ‘ere she drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all...,
except for those people in Jersey!"

Thursday
Adam-
I'm not telling you who to be friends with. It just offends me that Bonnie and the Jersey Family have nothing to do with me except when you're in town, and that's because my life is hard and I have no money. If I were married and had money, it would be different. They don't want to deal with anything unpleasant. That is why Claire-Ruth has nothing to do with Nan. My sister has nothing to do with me. The only thing that offends me is that YOU are not offended by this.
They are self-absorbed, narcissistic people and I want nothing to do with them, either. So, when Holidays come around and they celebrate and do NOT invite me, do not expect me to go when you show up in town and I suddenly get an invitation.
Mom

 

Do NOT

OK. Got it.
Holy crap-wait...don't I have to put a stamp on the envelope?

June 21, 1985
Adam-
Enclosed find 3 separate letters or papers.
1. Says you have to sign claim form (yellow paper) on bottom where it is circled only in order for it to remain current.
2. Sign white sheet where it says other group insurance.
3. Do NOT fill out anything on yellow sheet other than your signature where it is circled.
Do NOT answer where you are employed, income, or anything else. What I filled out is enough. I spoke to the insurance man on the phone and he said name and address and a signature is enough.
Put the 3 papers in the envelope and mail.