Miami Beach

Attention Weather Channel: Meet your new weather girl...

May 24, 1986
Dear Adam,
Saw this card and thought you'd like it.
It's very hot here. It's so humid you could drop!
Love you-
Mom

 

Fax Transmittal Sheet

"How Technology Helped Me Embarrass My Son"
By: Adam's Mom

5/7/00
To: Adam
This Message is from: Mom, The Pierre Hotel
Number of Pages: 1
Poopie-
I'm waiting for my friends to go out for dinner and we decided
to meet at the Pierre. I always arrive early. It's 90 degrees today.
That's why I still have a cold.
Love and Kisses.

So I Know What's Happening

Story Structure 101, with Adam's Mom.
Normal thought. Normal thought. Huh?

June 17, 1996
Adam-
It was a delight seeing you and Vicky. Let me know when your travel plans materialize so I know what's happening.
Is your car insured for other people to drive?
Love,
Mom

 

Ashes In A Closet

Whenever my mother travels, a letter from her is inevitable and its topic will always involve her passing. This one arrived right before her recent trip to New York.

 

Grapes

In Adam's family, nothing is regular.

Monday
Adam-
Grapes are very good for having bowel movements. I didn't see any grapes in your house!!
Mom

People Are So Odd

Proof once again that in my family, odd is relative.

Monday
Dear Adam,
Just a note to say hello.
The night you had your car stolen and I reported it to the insurance company the next day, do you know the only thing Nan was concerned about 'cause she heard me on the phone was, "How did Adam afford to put an $800 stereo in the car?!" I didn't answer, but she kept repeating it. Can you imagine! It's none of her business!
Love,
Mom
P.S. People are so odd.

 

Oops, Mom

Found this letter just in time for the holidays, and I can't decide which is more odd. The fact that my mother isn't sure I'd know what the word, "Gelt" means, (after sending me to Hebrew school for 6 years), or the fact that she's not quite sure who SHE is. By the way, Annette is my mother in law.
I think.
Oh, I don't know.

11/29/99
Adam-
Enclosed find a little Hanukkah gelt, which means money. Use it to buy whatever.
Spoke with Annette. We're supposed to meet one day next week and go to a comedy club.
Love, Joan
Oops, Mom

Nowhere Near Spain

I don't think she'd be my 1st choice for "phone-a-friend"...


5/10/97
Adam-
Enclosed find a little check to buy brunch for you and Vicky.
I love you.
When are you going on your vacation?
And where are you going?
Are you still going to Spain?
Morocco is in South Africa and is nowhere near Spain!
I'll speak to you next week.
Love, Mom

 

Warm Coat and Hat

It's not always just what's IN the envelope, but ON. For ALL to see.

 

Love To All

I hear music when I look at this postcard. It's my mother singing an old Jackson Five song. Sounds pretty. But then I realize, she's singing it to the entire staff of Travelcare. And they are all doomed.
(Click below to hear song.)

June 18, 1995-
Hi!!
Here I am in New York City now!
Love to all-
Joan
6 Charles Street-1D
New York, New York 10014

 

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

??

I don't believe I ever answered ONE of her questions.
That's right. I'm a rebel.
A rebel Chicken.

11/16/99
Chicken,
Here at office-boring!
What date are you coming East?
On what airline?
What airport?
Where are you staying?
What is phone number?
Am I still spending Christmas Day with all of you at Annette's?
Where and what time should I meet you?
What date are you going back?
Do you have warm clothes because it will be bitter cold?
Christmas is on Saturday. I'm off the 24th and 27th so I have 4 whole days. Hope I can spend some time with you.
Much love-
Mom
P.S. As you know, Nan's birthday is 11/29. Bonnie's 12/23.

 

COMBAT

This letter is from April 1987...
You gotta love segues...

Monday
Dear Adam-
Do you think it's a good idea to leave the piano in the lobby of a building you're not in anymore? Personally, I would put it in storage for $100 for one month. It may even cost only $50.
There's something new for roaches called Combat. You can buy it at Ralph's. There's no mess and no smell and it works. I got it for my kitchen.
A thought-Alisa is your girlfriend. But until the two of you "tie the knot", I don't think you should confide about very personal matters, do you?
Some things are better kept confidential.
I love you-
Mom

 

Eva Marie Saint

Tuesday
Adam-
I just finished up with the Department of Motor Vehicles-and the guy who snapped my picture, asked me if I was Eva Marie Saint! The movie star!
Just thought I'd let you know!
Love,
Mom

Hello

"Masters of complexity create the simplest solutions." Brad Lishman

Letter mailed to me on September 10, 1986:

Hello-