Showing posts with label Get rich quick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Get rich quick. Show all posts

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Flight Attendant Report

What if her FIRST flight never made it?
I guess I would have been screwed.
And potentially by a Nun.

Dear Adam-
I'm on the plane and this is the only stationary they have.
I wanted to tell you, in case the plane back doesn't make it, Marian is paid in full until September 1. Don't let her tell you otherwise. Some checks were made to her. Others made to Jubilee West in Oakland, CA where her daughter is a Nun.
The checks were issued on 1st Interstate Bank.
My will should be in bag in your apartment in a canvas bag of mine, or with Leonard Cooperman, lawyer in Miami.
Love,
Mom
Keep this letter. It's legal proof.


 
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Monday, July 12, 2010

Maybe They're Looking For A Heart-Throb

That's right. You heard her.
Go wild!

Adam-
Maybe you could send a tape to Fenster with a photograph of you.
All the teenagers would go wild when they see you and hear you!
What can you lose?
Maybe they're looking for a Heart-Throb!


 
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Saturday, February 20, 2010

There, I Feel Better

Uh oh. I sold that piano with the bench.

Sunday
Dear Adam
As I'm getting on in years, you should know that my Will is in the piano bench and my life insurance policy is with Mutual of Omaha.
There, I feel better.
Love,
Mom


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Oops, Mom

Found this letter just in time for the holidays, and I can't decide which is more odd. The fact that my mother isn't sure I'd know what the word, "Gelt" means, (after sending me to Hebrew school for 6 years), or the fact that she's not quite sure who SHE is. By the way, Annette is my mother in law.
I think.
Oh, I don't know.

11/29/99
Adam-
Enclosed find a little Hanukkah gelt, which means money. Use it to buy whatever.
Spoke with Annette. We're supposed to meet one day next week and go to a comedy club.
Love, Joan
Oops, Mom


Sunday, September 6, 2009

A Thousand Lire

I received this letter right around the time I was leaving for Italy.
At first glance, I admit the number on the bill took me by surprise. Turned out that a thousand Lire equaled about 75 cents in US money. Hey, I know...it's the thought that counts. Then as I held it closer, I smiled a little, and marveled at the drawing of a mother helping her son with his homework.
It all looked so...normal.

 
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Saturday, July 25, 2009

About 20 People!

This postcard made me smile.
Back in 1996, I released my first CD of original songs called, "You Don't Know Me...from Adam". Thanks to my mother, it sold way beyond my wildest expectations!

Adam-
I told everyone at work about the CD. They are all going to buy it!
About 20 people!
Love,
Mom


 
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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Poison

Dear Adam Pictures presents:
THE MOUSE TRAP II
This time, it's literal.

Monday
Adam,
My roommate at this house I'm staying at, just told me that she put POISON down on her kitchen counters the other day. She said she saw a mouse there. I didn't know about it until just now and I'm the only one who cooks in the kitchen.
I told her if I Drop Dead in the next few days, my son will own her house and everything in it! I just wanted you to know.
Love,
Mom

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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Dude

For anyone who wonders if I still get letters to this day, the answer is, "Yes, Your Honor". This one arrived just yesterday. (My mom doesn't know the first thing about emails.)

While some of you might think it'd be cool to have a mom incorporating the hippest catch phrases into their salutations, the rest of you may understand why I just HAD to post this one immediately. It made me feel kind of strange. OK, VERY strange. I mean, she's just not the "duuuude" kinda guy, you know?

Anyway, I've got to go now and update my resume. Once I nail this high-paying job she wrote me about, it's lunch for everybody on me, baby!

Friday-
Adam-
Check it out dude-
(I like the way that guy Randy talks on American Idol)-
New York Life Insurance is hiring people for various positions. I saw it in today's LA Times. You should look into this. Their starting salary is $34,000 a year!
Love,
Mom

 
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Sunday, December 21, 2008

Throw Away The Key

Could this be what protects my family's hidden treasure?

Or is it merely a mysterious key my mother had kept and eventually mailed to me on December 23rd of 1997 taped to a single blank piece of torn-out white notebook paper with no attached explanation, leads, clues or a single solitary word as to what it could be used to open...or in fact, whom it might be keeping locked away...?

SANTA????

 
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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Use It Well

Did you know that for a mere $17.00 at LAX, you too can bring comfort and joy to your family in the event the plane you're boarding takes a swan dive? It's true! Do NOT get on that aircraft without buying some flight insurance! $17 buys you $300,000! Step right up! Now have a great flight!

11/20/2002

Keep this in case plane crashes-It's for round trip-you get $300,000. Use it well.
Mom


 
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Saturday, July 5, 2008

A Quarter Of A Million

This letter is one of many I received with the same motif. I refer to these as the, "I can help you get rich quick by taping a single, good ol' American coin to this paper which I'm quite sure is worth hoards of money becuase it just looks different to me" letters. Some had pennies. Some had quarters. None offered a single written word. And who said Mama Can't Buy You Love...?

 
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