A Happy Face

Pickle? Really? (Insert sad face here...)

1/24/94
Pickle-
1. If and when you decide to come to Florida, let me know. I have to order a roll-a-way bed. They deliver.
2. Don't confront the stalker who's bothering Dana. Just call police.
I'm sorry you're having so much stress. Take an aspirin before going to bed and get a full night's sleep so you can work.
Enclosed find $20 to help with gas or a lunch?
Love,
Mom
A Happy Face

 

What To Do

Then what? Then what? Don't LEAVE me here like this!! Tell me, for the love of God...!
WHAT DO I DO NEXT?!?

April 5, 1987
Sunday
Poppy-Seed,
Did you file your taxes yet?
If you're late in filing, they will charge a huge penalty. You have to mail it in by the 15th!!!
You keep the copy. Put it in a safe place.
They'll tell you where to sign it, date it, and enclose the check and the accountant or his secretary will tell you what to do and explain it to you.
Make sure they tell you what the correct amount is or you'll see it at bottom of page. Look it over before signing it.
Love,
Mom

 

??

I don't believe I ever answered ONE of her questions.
That's right. I'm a rebel.
A rebel Chicken.

11/16/99
Chicken,
Here at office-boring!
What date are you coming East?
On what airline?
What airport?
Where are you staying?
What is phone number?
Am I still spending Christmas Day with all of you at Annette's?
Where and what time should I meet you?
What date are you going back?
Do you have warm clothes because it will be bitter cold?
Christmas is on Saturday. I'm off the 24th and 27th so I have 4 whole days. Hope I can spend some time with you.
Much love-
Mom
P.S. As you know, Nan's birthday is 11/29. Bonnie's 12/23.

 

Dude

For anyone who wonders if I still get letters to this day, the answer is, "Yes, Your Honor". This one arrived just yesterday. (My mom doesn't know the first thing about emails.)

While some of you might think it'd be cool to have a mom incorporating the hippest catch phrases into their salutations, the rest of you may understand why I just HAD to post this one immediately. It made me feel kind of strange. OK, VERY strange. I mean, she's just not the "duuuude" kinda guy, you know?

Anyway, I've got to go now and update my resume. Once I nail this high-paying job she wrote me about, it's lunch for everybody on me, baby!

Friday-
Adam-
Check it out dude-
(I like the way that guy Randy talks on American Idol)-
New York Life Insurance is hiring people for various positions. I saw it in today's LA Times. You should look into this. Their starting salary is $34,000 a year!
Love,
Mom

 

I Drink Smirnoff Vodka

Just found this letter and it made me wonder...
am I more of a Poppy Seed or a Chicken Feather?
Seriously, if anyone deserves a drink...

3/10/99
Chicken Feather-
Enclosed find $20. It always helps to have an extra $20.
I can't wait for May so I can get out of here and come to see you. I miss you.
Don't plan anything for my birthday. I'd just like to have one of those steaks. And I drink Smirnoff Vodka.
Love,
Mom

 

Over

I love this card. So sweet. So normal. SO my mother.
"Happy Valentine's Day"..."Constant Inspiration"..."Love you more than"...yeah...yeah...yeah...whatever. It's the word, "OVER" that kicks off the true JOAN EXPERIENCE.

I just want to know if it's ok to be called, "Poppy Seed" after the age of five...

Adam,
I couldn't love anyone or anything as much as I love you. You are my constant inspiration.-
Love,
Mom
(Over)
Don't go skiing yet. Give your hip a chance to rest. Don't trust that guy-Gene-that I've been dating and no longer are. Keep drying the dishes. I'll keep you informed of current events. I love my
Poppy-seed.