This Is Not Your Hysterical Mother Talking

Now here's a little known follow-up to the classic song, "What are you doing New Year's Eve?"
Here's, "What you shouldn't be doing New Year's Eve", from Adam's Mom.
Happy New Year, eveybody!

11/18/99
We're preparing a list at work for all our clients who would be at risk should electricity in New York stop because of the Y2K problem January 31, 2000. This means no traffic lights, no mass transportation, no phones or refrigeration, no lights, no elevators. So, the thought occurred to me...Don't drive that night and don't take elevators. Keep a flashlight on hand and have some canned food in apartment. Don't go on subways. Stay near where you're staying so you can walk back to apartment. You need bottled water and a manual can opener. When you get to apartment where you're staying, get prepared just in case of emergency. See what you need. This is not your hysterical mother talking. We have been so instructed at work by a well informed computer expert!!!! Better to take precaution than be sorry.
Love, Mom

Live Your Dreams

Christmas is my birthday.
My mother-in-law, (who's visiting us over the Holidays), was very disturbed by this card. Kept asking me if the guy on the front was related to me. "Why else would she send that card with that strange, disgusting man on it?"
Don't you just love being around loved ones this time of year? Come on...sing with me...
We are family! I got all my mothers with me...
Merry Christmas, Everyone!

Oops, Mom

Found this letter just in time for the holidays, and I can't decide which is more odd. The fact that my mother isn't sure I'd know what the word, "Gelt" means, (after sending me to Hebrew school for 6 years), or the fact that she's not quite sure who SHE is. By the way, Annette is my mother in law.
I think.
Oh, I don't know.

11/29/99
Adam-
Enclosed find a little Hanukkah gelt, which means money. Use it to buy whatever.
Spoke with Annette. We're supposed to meet one day next week and go to a comedy club.
Love, Joan
Oops, Mom

Enjoy This CD

Perhaps I'm over-analyzing everything she sends me...but it got me thinking. Maybe I AM a little overweight...??!

Someone That Turns Me Off!

Letter Dictionary:
Graham=Someone she dated.
Dundee=Someone she never dated but admired.
Adam=Me=Her son=Someone who'd have preferred never reading ANY of this.

Thursday
Adam-
The guy (Graham) really is a Jerk! He's NO Dundee either! He's not at all masculine. A wimp! I can't stand weak men! That's why he likes that German lady. She's happy to take control. And Adam, I can't go to bed with someone that turns me off! I don't think you could either!
I don't know if there's anyone out there for me. If not, I'll just do the best I can on my own. I'd rather be alone than put up with someone's behavior that makes me want to throw up. If I weren't so particular, I could have been re-married 10 times already!
Take care of you for me. You're the most important man in my life. (Until another comes along.)
Love-
Mom

Chamomile Tea

This letter keeps me up at night.

BLUE

So my mother mailed me this NY POST photo clipping back in 2000, showing me how the star of the movie, "Blue", in her opinion, looks like my wife. Innocent enough. Sure. What she swears she didn't notice is that little synopsis directly under the picture which explains the movie to be all about a young woman who loses her musician-husband and child in a car wreck.
Now THAT, boys and girls, is what I call WEIRD.


Doesn't this look like Maria?