Finish all the Kid's Food

This note from my mother arrived yesterday. I guess it's my Father's Day card.
Doesn't bottled up humiliation cause cancer?

Your Pea Coat

Calling all Burlington Coat Factory and Sears advertising Execs...
there's gotta be a commercial here somewhere.

Monday
Adam-
Did you buy yourself a winter coat? Because if you go with Maria to NY in March, it is bitter cold and your Pea Coat will not be warm enough! You have no time to get sick. Please buy yourself a coat.
Burlington Coat Factory has good buys.
Also, make sure your tires and Maria's tires are sound. I will gladly pay for 2 new tires. 1 for you and 1 for Maria.
Sears has best buy on tires.
Love,
Mom

 

John Barry

Hi, may I speak with Mr. Barry?
Yes, my mother suggested I call.
Hello?

Adam,
The music that was composed by John Barry from the movie, "Out of Africa", just beautiful. Do you know how to get a hold of John Barry? You should collaborate with him. You and he have much in common. Music that touches the soul.
Mom

 

So I Know What's Happening

Story Structure 101, with Adam's Mom.
Normal thought. Normal thought. Huh?

June 17, 1996
Adam-
It was a delight seeing you and Vicky. Let me know when your travel plans materialize so I know what's happening.
Is your car insured for other people to drive?
Love,
Mom

 

Don't Be Anxious

What? NOW I'm anxious.

Monday
Adam-
Listen.
Don't be upset, because when you're upset or in a hurry,
you trip, you fall and you break your leg.
You can't afford any more of that! Something good is going to happen soon. My horoscope says so. Just take care of yourself, and don't be anxious.
Because then, you make things worse than it is.
OK?
Have a little faith.
Love,
Mom

 

Stay Away

Nanny are you ok? So Nanny are you ok? Are you Ok, Nanny?

Saturday
Adam-
Don't go near Nan until we find out from the doctor why she has a rash all over her body and face! I don't know if it's contagious. So stay away.
Love,
Mom

 

Capricorn Man

First the horoscope arrived.
Then about a week or so later, came the letter.
By the way, I am a Capricorn Man. My wife, is a Gemini.
Welcome to La Vida Loca.
And Happy Mother's Day, Everybody!

Thursday
Adam-
1. I had NO idea that was on the horoscope. I didn't even remember what Maria's birthday was. (I only read the CUTE saying they had.)
2. If you want me to be the "Bad" guy in this for something "harmless", then so be it. I can't control what people think! If I bothered to look at that part of the clipping, I may have thought twice. But, it was so unimportant to me, I never even looked! Maria should know in her heart how very much I care for her!
3. If you still have the cold after the antibiotics stop, you should have the doctor renew them 'cause I had to renew mine when I had the flu. You have to stay on 1 week longer. It's so cold up here now, I had to put on my heavy "down" coat 'cause I don't want to get sick again.
Take care-
Love,
Mom