Lifeguard

I'm not sure what pisses me off more about this letter.
The fact that I was 39 when I got it, or the fact that I got it at all. Maybe she just sincerely forgot that I worked as a lifeguard throughout high school and college. At least, that's what I like to tell myself.


Adam-
If you go to the beach, make sure you go where there is a Lifeguard near. It's much safer if you're going in the water.
Love,
Mom

 

Nan Saw The Letter!

At least once in my life, someone has told me something about themselves that I feel they’re trying to convince me of believing rather than simply having a normal conversation. Has that happened to you? For me, it’s like hearing the phrase, "I swear I'm telling the truth!" after every word they say. That's how I ALWAYS feel when it comes to my mother. And now, I honestly doubt the validity of everything she tells me.
Take the information sent to me in this letter. 100%? In the whole city? In history? Besides, Nan is 91 years old! She can hardly see anything...

NYCERS=New York City Employee's Retirement System

Just want you to know, if anything happens to me, this is the place you call as you are listed as my beneficiary in the event of my demise and you continue to collect $200 a month.
Mom
(over)
Did you know I was the only one in the history of New York City that ever placed 100% on the civil service exam for social workers? I have the letter they sent me to that effect!
Nan saw the letter!

 

Self-Addressed Envelope

About 10pm tonight, I reached into the pile, and opened this as-of-that-moment, unopened letter for the very first time. And since noone is awake to help me understand it, I think I just better go to bed.

5/25/99
Adam-
Please send me address and phone number where you'll be staying in New York. Self-addressed envelope enclosed. ( I won't use it. Just like to have it).
Also, let me know where and what time I'm to meet you. It doesn't matter as I can take off work anytime. But, I need to know a couple of days before. And I have no way to contact you so send me address where you'll be staying so I can feel grounded.
Love,
Mom

 

Read This

Right after 9/11, I was scheduled to take a trip from Los Angeles to Boston to attend my best friend's wedding. I had never been a fan of flying and like many people after that day, I became much more paranoid.

Luckily, my mother sent me this New York Post clipping to help calm my nerves.

Read This-
Do you still want to go to Boston?

 

By Law, You Have to Have a Safe Operating Stove

I don't know where to begin with this one from 1992. The entry's title's my favorite line in the letter. Although I'm not sure it's against the law, I'd bet an ex-boss of my mom's retaliating against me, is. Right?

9/3/92
Adam-
If your manager does not fix the stove in a short period of time, I will have this lawyer I know write a letter to the owner telling him of the problem. So let me know if you need a lawyer's letter. By Law, you have to have a safe operating stove. And if he takes too much time fixing it, the manager is NOT doing his job! Your rent includes a stove and it poses a hazard (safety).
Love,
Mom
Good Luck! And let me know if you need a letter-
Page 2-
I'm afraid of my ex-boss. The one I had the hearing with. Don't give your address to anyone. She may want to retaliate! (She's crazy)
Also-when you use Bomb in house-you have to rinse dishes and put food away!
(I know-I know-stop acting like a mom!)
Love-
Mom

 

I Drink Smirnoff Vodka

Just found this letter and it made me wonder...
am I more of a Poppy Seed or a Chicken Feather?
Seriously, if anyone deserves a drink...

3/10/99
Chicken Feather-
Enclosed find $20. It always helps to have an extra $20.
I can't wait for May so I can get out of here and come to see you. I miss you.
Don't plan anything for my birthday. I'd just like to have one of those steaks. And I drink Smirnoff Vodka.
Love,
Mom

 

Please Don't Get Angry At This

Now why would I get...

Tuesday
Dear Adam-
Did you ever stop to consider why you always get so angry with me? I'm only interested in the best for you. I'm not your enemy, and lately, you've been treating me as if I am.
If I'm not always positive and do not always come up laughing, it's because I've not always had it easy. I don't have a husband to protect me like some women do and I've learned not to be so trusting.
So, don't be so hard on me and so judgmental. I love you-you know that-and if I say things to irritate you, stop to think where I'm coming from. I only want the best for you because you deserve it.
A thought. And please don't get angry at this-
Until you're ready to get married, you should use some protection because you don't want to be a father before any marriage takes place.
Love, mom