Beautiful Nose

This one blows in from 1983.

Wednesday
Dear Adam-
Just a note to remind you that if you have to pay anyone for anything, write a check from your CHECKING ACCOUNT. Do not pay any other way. If you don't have enough in your checking account, wait until you do before you pay any bills.
I have a busy day tomorrow so I'll try to get to bed early.
Love,
Mom
P.S. You have a beautiful nose! Don't let anyone touch it!

 

Yellow Lights

This came to me about a month or so before Maria and I had our first child.
We lived 5 minutes away from the Hospital.

Tuesday
Adam-
When the time comes and you have to drive Maria to the hospital, make sure you don't go through yellow lights as you have to get her there in one piece.
Your Dad drove me very slowly when it was my time and it's good to go for a trial run to see how long it takes obeying all the lights!
Love,
Mom

Do Me A Favor-Please Don't Eat Sushi

Ladies and Gentlemen, here it is! The letter and newspaper clipping from 1989 that inspired the title for this blog! It was waiting for me to re-discover it at the bottom of one of my piles.
So without further ado, it is my honor to share it here with you. Right now, for the very first time!
The worm has turned.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

There, I Feel Better

Uh oh. I sold that piano with the bench.

Sunday
Dear Adam
As I'm getting on in years, you should know that my Will is in the piano bench and my life insurance policy is with Mutual of Omaha.
There, I feel better.
Love,
Mom

Lutheran

If this letter from the late 80's could be performed as a scene of a phone conversation with my Jewish mother, my part would probably go something like this:
Hello? Hi Mom. Ok. Ok. Ok. Oh, right. Ok. Cool. Right. Ugg. Nice girl...right. Alright. What? (Click.) Hello? Mom? Hello? (End scene.)

Saturday
Adam-
This is my plan. When I get the ticket from you to go to California on Thanksgiving, I'll stay with you for that weekend. Then, I'll stay with Reva for 3 weeks. The lady near Melrose.
Then, I'll fly to NY on December 26th, stay with Bonnie for 2 weeks. Then, move into the woman's residence in NY and live there while I work at that paper on Wall Street. I can't stay here any longer than Thanksgiving!!! I'd rather be dead. This is no place for a nice girl like me!
So, when I call to make my ticket, it will only be 1 way.
Love,
From your Lutheran Mom

Grapes

In Adam's family, nothing is regular.

Monday
Adam-
Grapes are very good for having bowel movements. I didn't see any grapes in your house!!
Mom

I Know What I'm Talking About

Looking back on it all, I can't believe what a fool I've been. Of COURSE my mother knew the truth about her own father and his "business". She lived with the man until she was 3 years old! Oh sure, they lost touch for decades when he left, but my mother kept tabs. And in her own cryptic way, she was obviously just trying to protect me from his posse and their covert ties with the underworld.

Sunday,
Adam-
I sent you $20 at your home. You never mentioned it.
Here's a little extra for your pocket.
Love,
Mom
P.S. Don't get involved with Pop's business. And don't sign anything regarding his business! I know what I'm talking about.