Ashes In A Closet

Whenever my mother travels, a letter from her is inevitable and its topic will always involve her passing. This one arrived right before her recent trip to New York.

 

I Wonder What He Was Doing

What?

Sunday
Dear Adam-
One of the neighbors told me she saw Saul, the landlord go into my apartment when I was at work. I asked him if he did and why and he said he doesn’t recall doing it!
I know the neighbor wouldn’t make up a story and I wonder what he was doing when he comes in here! You just feel like your privacy has been invaded! I’m going to tell him not to come in here unless I know about it! Anyhow, I got that off my chest.
I sent Dr. Rish another $25. I don’t understand why you to to him so much! You only have to send Iliana $100. You can pay her the other $100 later.
I love you.
Mom

 

I Play The Lottery

"You've got to ask yourself one question...Do I feel lucky?"

Tuesday
Adam-
Since I had to get out of my place that I was renting with a very unpleasant lady, you let me come stay with you for a couple of weeks until I move into my new place, and I really appreciate it as I know you both have a busy life. What with the kids, the Nanny, and the two of you both working, I realize it's quite an imposition to say the least! Even a relative should not be a handicap to their children!
I play the lottery once in awhile and if I win tonight, I'll move into a hotel (which is what I would prefer) and I'd be very happy to give you kids half of my winnings as I know things are hard for you both in this recession (as it is for a lot of people.)
But, we should all remember to count our blessings and we have many to be grateful for.
Love,
Mom

 

Role Model

Los Angeles/Summer 2010
Family seeking...
Part-time housekeeper for out of state family member's visit;
OR
Full-time therapist for in-state neurotic mother.

Sunday
Adam,
I have always tried to protect you from both Bonnie and Michael when you were a kid because they were dysfunctional and both had obvious sociopathic disorders.
I'm concerned about my grandchildren now when it comes to Bonnie's possible visit to stay with you. She smokes pot, she's a pig, and leaves her urine on the seat after she goes.
I know it's up to you and Maria with whether she stays with you or not. Just as I told you about (Cousin) Laurie, I'm voicing my concern.
She is NO role model for the children. Ask (Cousin) Andrew. He had to throw her (literally) out of his house.
Mom

 

Superior Wife

Obviously, she wants something.

 

Beautiful Nose

This one blows in from 1983.

Wednesday
Dear Adam-
Just a note to remind you that if you have to pay anyone for anything, write a check from your CHECKING ACCOUNT. Do not pay any other way. If you don't have enough in your checking account, wait until you do before you pay any bills.
I have a busy day tomorrow so I'll try to get to bed early.
Love,
Mom
P.S. You have a beautiful nose! Don't let anyone touch it!

 

Yellow Lights

This came to me about a month or so before Maria and I had our first child.
We lived 5 minutes away from the Hospital.

Tuesday
Adam-
When the time comes and you have to drive Maria to the hospital, make sure you don't go through yellow lights as you have to get her there in one piece.
Your Dad drove me very slowly when it was my time and it's good to go for a trial run to see how long it takes obeying all the lights!
Love,
Mom